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Author: Oriana

Family Roles and Belief systems

Anyone who has ever been willing to do the work involved in any sort of recovery, knows how hard it is to change your personality.   It takes time and diligence to unlearn decades of entrenched information stored in our minds and bodies and rigorous effort to form new habits, undoing years of brain pathways that have began to operate automatically. I spent years repeating patterns of behaviours that only hurt me again and again, leaving me confused and frustrated from a lack of understanding how or why It happened. I also repeated the same relationship dynamics with similar...

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How I found Power In Vulnerability

Children are born vulnerable and at the mercy of others.  They’re completely dependent on others to care for them and meet their needs.  Having a parent who quickly responded to their needs and provided proper nurturing, a secure, well rounded person will develop. In the contrary, if a parent takes a long time to respond to their baby/child or fails to meet the physical or emotional needs at all, that vulnerability is exploited and becomes interpreted to the child as a weakness in character – something bad.  Over time, an anxious insecure person will develop. Much shame and internal...

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Poem: A Codependent-Empath and her Narcissistic-Addict…I loved you Anyway

  I overlooked your past, your addiction, your mistakes.  Listened to all the crazy stories and I loved you anyway Your short fuse, bursts of anger, break ups every few days.  Disappearing and silent treatment, I loved you anyway Tried to meet ALL your demands, needs and expectations. Left exhausted, confused, with many frustrations, still, I loved you anyway From public humiliation to total isolation.  Trying to be perfect yet I never measured up. Taking ALL the guilt, responsibility and blame. Empty words and broken promises, I loved you anyway Never to be heard, abandoned and rejected.  Feeling like the enemy,...

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Psychosomatic illnesses… What your pain REALLY means

For many years I suffered with chronic back pain.  Often when I would go for a massage with my RMT (Registered Massage Therapist), she would say “do you have other things going on in your life? – because this is not just work related.” I sloughed it off, thinking stress is just a part of life and I may be a little more tense than the next person, it’s no big deal. Working as an Aesthetician for many years with poor poster and ergonomics, I assumed that was the main culprit responsible for my agony. Sure, It contributed, but...

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How to cope with overwhelming emotions

Emotions are natural, a part of life. With BPD, often times it feels like emotions happen TO you. Without warning. Without control. Without choice. People with BPD feel things on a much more intense level. Think of the intense emotions of a child.  Their lack of ability to regulate emotions rationally, express them appropriately, and soothe themselves effectively. Then add thought patterns of a child being very binary. Two opposites in thinking.  They are not capable of bringing together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. In a child, these behaviours...

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