I see you, but you don’t really see me.

I show you who I want you to see,

who I think you want me to be.

 

My very existence depends on your acceptance

I fear the death that is, rejection.

 

My life, is not my own.

I serve others, for love.

Myself, I disown.

 

My insides are boiling, trying to escape

I pace back and forth, I rock and shake.

 

Get me out of myself

Again, I flee.

Self destruction consuming me.

 

Letting it all go,

An illusion of freedom.

slave to my emotions and inner demons.

 

Ill sabotage the good, and push you away

Ill test the limits and hope you’ll stay.

 

I cut myself, to interpret the pain.

Your understanding I’ll never gain.

 

Lock me up,

Make my decisions.

I can’t be trusted, with the life I am living.

 

envy others.

imitate.

I wear a smile, but all is fake.

 

The lost little girl.

Trying to find her way home.

Terrified to be alone.

 

My identity, I hope to find in you

I wait to be rescued, from my shame and depression

 

These things I’ll never tell you,

This is a Borderline’s confession.

 

Much love,

Oriana

xo

Keep healing, keep growing, keep finding your truth.