You may wonder, what is this not good enough epidemic I keep hearing about?  It is something that I discovered I had a few years ago. In more recent times, I have heard others share similar experiences to my own––expressing the symptoms and life outcomes that reflected that we in fact were suffering from the same illness, which I call:

The not good enough Syndrome.


What is tricky about this “syndrome”, is that many people are not even aware they have it!

This is the invisible work of inner core beliefs at play.  These beliefs operate within us, and usually unconsciously––beyond our awareness. This makes it hard to treat (how can you treat something you don’t understand or even know is there?).


Our life is a manifestation of the beliefs we carry within. The most common core belief of our time is “I’m not good enough” and all those alike:


I’m not smart enough

I’m not pretty enough

I’m not skinny enough

I’m not rich enough


Fill in the blank: I’m not _____ enough


Simply, we are suffering from this void of never being ‘enough’.


Having these inner beliefs are a naturally occurring part of life––they are born through our experiences early in life. Events, interactions and people shape these beliefs and we adopt them and own them.  These beliefs are then held as truths and we navigate our world with them as our compass.


Depending on our upbringing, we may hold different beliefs about the world, ourselves and our place in the world.  But the one belief that seems to be the epidemic of our day, is the belief that we are not enough in some way.


You might wonder, how can I find out if this is the case for me?  Listen to the language you use with yourself. Inner language (thoughts/self talk) and our verbal expressions. Do you express words that are ridgid sounding, like: should/shouldn’t, must, always, never, can’t . . .  These extreme thoughts and language usage give exposure to the very things we truly believe about ourselves deep down.  They create limits. A belief such as “I’m not enough” is a belief that we are limited in some way. which limits us in our choices and then our life outcome will manifest that––one stays stuck.


If you want to explore your belief system you need also to explore the clues that present through the symptoms.


What it might look like––The symptoms:


  • Striving for perfection /high expectations of self
  • Continually forcing yourself to be more productive and have difficulty resting
  • Not willing to try anything new
  • Self-sabotaging
  • Isolation or withdrawing
  • Dysfunctional/toxic/co-dependent relationships
  • Feeling disconnected with others
  • People Pleasing
  • Lack of boundaries and assertiveness
  • Low self-esteem
  • Critical of self and others
  • Difficulty being alone



Any others you can identify and add to the list?



What it might feel like––The Battle:


  • An inner battle between a self that wants to be seen and a self that wants to hide
  • Wanting to be loved yet pushing people away
  • Ignoring your wants and needs for others benefit
  • Not really knowing what your wants and needs are
  • Resentment against the people in your life
  • Discontentment and feeling empty
  • Afraid to fail
  • Afraid to be alone
  • Feeling Rejected or fear you will be rejected
  • Exhausted and confused


Any others you can identify and add to the list?



These are some of the signs that are pointing you in the direction of learning your truth––the things you learned to believe about yourself long ago. Now is the time to explore these beliefs and check their validity (are they valid, true?).


These beliefs may have served you once upon a time, but they may no longer hold true for you anymore. You may now have new truths to discover about yourself.


Uprooting the “I’m not good enough” mantra and replacing it with “I am enough” can provide you with the life you want to have.  It can help you withstand the discomfort through the changes you’ll go through, and you’ll build a resiliency to weather the storms of life, knowing that you are enough no mater what happens.


If you want to see changes in your life, you need to start with the beliefs about yourself. 



Much Love,







 Image source: