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Author: Oriana

Borderline Splitting – Chaos to Perfection

Humans are complex beings which can readily experience two opposite feelings at the same time – for example:  seeing someone on vacation and feeling happy for them while at the same time feeling sad for yourself.   Children in their very early development are unable to hold these complexities yet.  The world and those in it (including themselves) are either good or bad, either heroes or villain’s. A child’s thinking is black and white.  There is no gray – no complexity. This is normal.   When childhood development is interrupted with abuse, neglect and/or other forms of trauma however, their  development...

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What’s Hiding Behind Your Anger ? . .

Recently I had an epiphany . . . rewinding, I had several days of feeling very lost, consumed with anger, irritability, and found I was lashing out at those I love.  I could find any reason to be angry with my loved one––was stuck in a cycle of blaming and pointing fingers. I knew how I was behaving, yet felt no control over it, to the point where I was irritated with myself. I asked my partner what it was like loving someone with BPD.  He expressed “loving is easy, living with, is hard” . . . I took...

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Self-Awareness is a Super Power

With BPD it feels as if my emotions are happening to me, rather than me simply feeling them and then choosing how to respond.  Emotions seem so big, overwhelming and intense, that they swallow me up – there seems to be no space between emotion and reaction.  Many times I have heard that individuals with BPD feel emotions much more than the average person.  People with Borderline Personality Disorder are so super-sensitive it can be likened to walking around with 3rd degree burns and having emotional hemophilia.   I know for myself, that I am very much a super-feeler...

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Do You Have a Mental Health Emergency kit ? . .

Being prepared for a crisis/natural disaster, is a pro-active step in safeguarding the welfare of ourselves and our family.  It is vital to have some sort of plan and tools in place, so that, you are able to survive such an event. Perhaps you have purchased a 72-hour emergency kit with first aid supplies.  When you are in the warning stages of a natural disaster, you may also need to take drastic measures to preserve your life – i.e., evacuation of your home/city. But, what about another type of crisis, a mental health crisis? . . . Have you been...

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Fear . . . My master

This written piece is a special excerpt from my upcoming up book, Lies in Disguise, How I found my truth and recovered for from Borderline Personality Disorder.   Nearly every choice I made, I made out of fear.  Fear guided my steps like a compass pointing me in many directions, yet, I still ended up lost in despair.   “I’m a coward because I can’t say what I want, and I betray myself” I think to myself… Fear of rejection prevented me from enjoying life even in the smallest of tasks.  I was so afraid I often remained silent,...

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